PURSUE

You’re a guy I shouldn’t pursue
You’re a guy I shouldn’t fall in love with
Despite the longing I feel to be near you
Despite the yearning ache in my soul’s pith

I just have to let you go for now
Because what you relish is the chase
Although you’ll find nothing but emptiness
At the end of your conquest’s race

I’ve written ten poems about you for Christ’s sake
Yet again I’ve become too invested
This knack of getting attached too easily
Is a habit I’ve quite perfected

I wish I could share my world with you
And immerse myself in yours
With your eager hand interlaced in mine
This world could be ours to explore

I’ve always wanted to meet someone
Someone that can spark my soul
And this you’ve done for me my love
My capricious heart you’ve managed to cajole

But you’re still a guy I shouldn’t fall in love with
You’re still a guy I shouldn’t pursue
So this fantasy of us being together
Is another dream I’ll have to put on queue

I really wish you could see our potential
The depths of each other we can reach
But I’m not as naïve anymore to think
That in me you’ll find your sole relief

REMARK

I really shouldn’t have made that remark
And now I feel just plain stupid
How did I trick myself into this again
My imagination has once again gone lurid

How fucking deluded can I be
Why can’t I take a goddamn hint
Why would anyone want to be with me
You know they all come in fleeting stints

Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
I’ve been fooled one too many times
But still I refrain to clearly see

My god Alia
Stop being so fucking idiotic
Why not use a tinge of common sense
And inject yourself a good dose of logic

So no he doesn’t want to be with you
Why would he even care
Stop handing out pieces of yourself
Always leaving you empty and bare

These starless nights and gloomy skies
Are starting to feel like home
Maybe no one was meant to be with me
Maybe I’m fated to walk this world alone

REMAIN

I need you to remain what you are
An idea unresolved
A feather floating just beyond my grasp
A curious riddle I’m yet to solve

My encounter with you has been quite beautiful
But sometimes beauty is better admired from afar
Once we touch the glass it’ll surely shatter
And this concept of you I’d rather not mar

There’s just too much tragedy in this world
There’s too much disappointment
Possibility is usually better than reality
So instead I indulge in my eager mind’s figments

I’m afraid I’ll end up wanting more
Than what you’ll be able to give
And this fear of getting hurt somehow
Has held me quite it’s captive

As I told you once before
The decay is surely inevitable
Beautiful things begin to wither
It’s always a losing battle

I’m sorry if I sound disillusioned
I’m sorry if I’m not making sense
I told you from the start I’m a little neurotic
And this time it’s at our expense

I’m not saying we can’t be friends
I still want to hear your thoughts
I just need to keep some distance between us
A safeguard of sorts I have sought

Maybe we can grab coffee someday
Maybe we’ll have our time
But now all I can really say to you
I’ve said to you in rhyme

So please take care of yourself my love
And keep your hungry spirit alive
Because in this world that dims the magic
Sadly not much of it survives

DRIVE

I start the engine and take a drive
Speed my stifling fears away
The widening, increasing distance
Keeps the festering at bay

A drive down Pacific Coast Highway
Is all I really need
The waves, the waters, the setting sun
I’ll follow the road wherever it leads

I see the flashing lights and curious faces
They all go by in a blur
I feel the wind tingle against my skin
I hear the engine’s soft and constant whir

The parallel lines serve as my refuge
The wheels carry my restless heart
And maybe when I get back to point A
I’ll finally have my brand new start

BUBBLE

I want to stay in this bubble with you
Forget the rest of the world exists
Because in this little refuge of condensate
Happiness and contentment it consists

I wish we could stay here forever
Keep holding me in your arms
No need to get up out of bed
Just ignore your phone’s alarms

Please stay with me as long as you can
Don’t let the bubble evaporate
I yearn to feel your skin on mine
Soak in the warmth it softly emanates

Just close your eyes and hold my hand
This moment’s ours you see
Because with you and me in this world of ours
There’s no place that I’d rather be

FRAGILE

I am a lot more fragile
Than I make myself to be
Like an eager child on the playground
With too many scrapes on her knees

I always carry band-aids around
Because I can be pretty clumsy
I walk about with no regard
Forgetting I bruise so easily

I was born quite the sensitive one
I feel things a little too much
Emotions teem and burst at the seams
My heavy heart I have to clutch

I can also be a bit naïve
I’ll believe everything you say
Looking for the best in people
Can sometimes lead me astray

I fall in love too quickly
As well as fall apart
It takes a while to pick up the pieces
When I end up with a broken heart

I’ve been left with burns and scars
From people that I’ve touched
The wounds heal slowly and the scabs still sting
But I try not to cringe so much

It’s exhausting to seem so strong
When I so easily break
Trusting people more than I should
Is often my fatal mistake

So I’m just trying to warn you
Just want to make you aware
If I’m truly what your heart desires
Please do handle me with care

SLEEPLESS

I toss and I turn
By sleep I’m befuddled
The darkness is beckoning
My sheets are left rumpled

Wretched and restless
I agonize in my wake
I try to dull the pain
But it’s still a constant ache

No arms to hold me
No warmth to keep me still
An abyss of unsaid longings
And there’s just too much to fill

So instead I lie down staring
And listen to my breaths
Wondering how it will go down
If this is all just one big test

Maybe it’s the lack of bedtime prayers
Maybe it’s a lack of faith
But if this life’s just one big fight
I don’t want to come out unscathed

Would you please sing me a lullaby?
Maybe that’ll do the trick
Show me pictures of fading sunsets
And paint me images acrylic

Or maybe just whisper in my ear
Say everything will be alright
Tell me that you love me dearly
And to get some sleep tonight